When someone yells "Fire!", the crew that operates this little baby doesn't know whether to wet it down or light it up.

Thanks to my cyberfriend Arleigh Movitz, my tongue-in-cheek reference (if you're reading this out of order, you have no idea what i'm talking about) is one step closer to reality:

Arl sent a complete set of specifications with his sketch. It's a humbling experience to realize the awesome influence of our website on unsuspecting individuals thousands of miles away.

Arl has since become a volunteer fire fighter for the Santa Clara County Fire Department in California..

 

 

Dear Bill:

Ever since we began corresponding regarding your web site, this quote got me doing some thinking: "Some day, perhaps we will be awarded a grant to design and build an armed, flying, diesel-powered fire fighting/law enforcement vehicle complete with a fully-equipped kitchen, three-point hitch, and live PTO." I took this as a challenge, and the enclosed is what I came up with. Maybe you can use it to inspire your team, or threaten them, or something.

Technical details:

It's a good thing that you have experienced rotary-wing pilots on your department, because a fixed-wing fire truck would have been much too wide. As it is, the enclosed design isn't something that you'd want to share the road with, if you have the choice. Diesel powered (both drive engine and the turbines can use the,same fuel, I think); armed and armored (note: the bulletproof windows don't open, so you'll need to use the air conditioning), with twin forward-firing .30's, and gunports on each side. An extended crew cab contains room for the kitchen (small but fully equipped, as requested, with propane stove). The live PTO is in back, and as soon as I find out what the heck a "three-point hitch" is, I'll tell you where I hid it.

Since you deal with rural and grass fires, I designed the vehicle (I hesitate to refer to it as a "truck") with oversized flotation tires, and pump-and-roll capability. There's a winch in the front, and ground ladders are stored internally, lying cross-ways under the fuel tanks in the equipment bays that extend out between the axles, along with the other tools-of-the-trade. Much as I would have loved to have drawn each one, in detail (Hurst tools, forcible entry tools, wildfire tools, medical equipment, smoke ejectors, etc., etc.), I realized that they have to be stored internally, to cut down on wind resistance. Oh, dam.

A 200-gallon water/25-gallon foam tank sits behind the crew compartment, with twin 1.5" reels that face diagonally backwards. Airhorns and siren in the front bumper, and I tried to give it the necessary warning lights, intersection lights, scene/alley/takedown/fog lights, etc. OK, so I like lights.

You should see my Honda.

Since this thing is going to require an airport, I gave it crash-rescue capability, with foam nozzles under the bumper and a turret between the turbine rotors. I'm sure that the Silver City International Airport will be proud. I even designed the rotor system so that the blades lock facing front-to-back, so that you don't lose them going through the hanger/garage doorway. Hey, am I good, or what?

Based on your description of your volunteers, I'm sure that at least one will be smart enough to ask where the doors are. Please slap him/her for me.

Stay safe,

<signature>

Arleigh Movitz